Tag Archives: Under Armour

Five Kinds of Hunters

We all seem to know a hunter, typically an older gentleman, who walks into the woods wearing blue jeans and walks out two hours later with a big buck. He does this year after year, no matter the conditions. And then there’s his opposite—the guy who spends thousands on gear, but refuses to leave the house when it’s raining or too cold. He puts all his trust in pricey scent control products, believing himself to now be immune to the perfect sensory apparatus of a deer’s nose. When he happens to luck out on a big buck, he sends a group text to 40 people with the words “too easy,” and when he doesn’t get a deer, he complains that there aren’t enough hunters in the woods “moving them around.”

1. That Guy

Image: Jack Kredell

Image: Jack Kredell

This is the guy we talked about in the intro. He thinks that Under Armour is the key to any successful hunt. He also shows up to camp with a new rifle every year chambered in the fastest and trendiest round commercially available. He punches holes in the bullseye all day long from a lead sled and calls himself a deadeye. Don’t be That Guy.

2. Business Casual

Image: www.konbini.com

Image: www.konbini.com

He’s a bit lazy, a bit out of practice, but he hasn’t forgotten how to hunt. He just doesn’t get out of the city enough. When he’s in the woods he’s quiet, respectful, sometimes deadly—yet he doesn’t particularly care whether he gets a deer or not. He’s simply there not to disappoint dad. He gives That Guy the evil eye in camp.

3. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Image: www.michigan-sportsman.com

Image: www.michigan-sportsman.com

This type is almost always a younger person with an impressive resume for his age. His teenage years were spent apprenticed to a Jackal or Warlock (see below), and the only thing holding him back is that twinge of impatience that sometimes gets the best of him. What really sets him apart from other hunters his age is his desire to become a better hunter with each outing (hence the impatience). Nevertheless, all the essential tools are there for him to reach the next stage, and that little bit of impatience will fade with time.

4. The Jackal

Image: www.film.com

Image: www.film.com

Jackals, like coyotes and foxes, often figure as tricksters and pranksters in the mythological world. And this kind of hunter is just that: He’s brilliant, but sometimes his cleverness and skill leave him apathetic, so he tries more unusual and daring tactics that don’t always pay off. You’re surprised when he returns to camp empty-handed, but you also note the enigmatic grin he’s wearing. It means he passed on several deer that everybody else in camp would have shot.

5. The Warlock

Image: galleryhip.com

Image: galleryhip.com

What can we say about this guy? He’s so skillful that a band of Neanderthals would adopt him. When he walks into the woods, it’s like watching one of the baseball players from Field of Dreams disappear into the cornstalks. He has a no detectable body odor because he lets the weather dictate all of his actions. He’s a light breeze if the breeze could carry a .30/06. He knows more than a deer biologist, yet he probably couldn’t give you the name of the scent gland on top of the deer’s head. Like I said, blue jeans are sufficient combined with a rain poncho over a knit sweater. The biggest deer on the mountain is his for the taking. Sadly, his kind seems to be on the way out.

The Evolution of American Hunting Attire

How has hunting attire changed over the last 300 years? Let’s take a look.

The Longhunters

Contemporary longhunter displaying some fine early 18th-century threads [Image: warriorstrail.com]

Contemporary longhunter displaying some fine early 18th-century threads. [Image: warriorstrail.com]

Longhunters were 18th century hunters and trappers who pushed into the Appalachian frontier in search of fur and game. By dress alone, they probably weren’t too different from ordinary settlers or pioneers. They wore a kind of knee-length linen overshirt, moccasins, leather leggings, and woolen garters in thick brush or snow. Since they operated for months at a time, longhunters carried a wool blanket for sleeping and an oilcloth that functioned like a modern tarp. They carried their items in a leather bag known as a haversack that was carried over the shoulder like a messenger bag. A smaller leather bag, known as a shooting bag, contained everything needed to prep, load, and maintain a flintlock rifle. As longhunters worked their way West, their style of dress became heavily influenced by encounters with Native Americans. They basically looked like A$AP Rocky.

Mountain Men

Image: en.wikipedia.org

[Image: en.wikipedia.org]

The mountain men were the peak of frontier fashion and the first true masters of cultural appropriation. The reached a fabulousness rivaled only by today’s tactical paramilitary soybean field hunters. Adopting the style of Native American hunters, they dressed head to toe in buckskins and wore either moccasins or heavy boots depending on the terrain. Coonskin hats were in the mix but probably not as often as people think. Unlike today’s ScentLok man, the mountain man was not afraid of a little odor. In fact, he probably reeked. But that really didn’t matter because he also probably understood the wind in a way that less than 1% of today’s hunters do.

Grandfather and the Golden Age

Image: www.wedoitoutside.com

[Image: www.wedoitoutside.com]

Ah, the era when brands like Filson, Sears, Ted Williams, L.L. Bean, and Woolrich were kings. When I think of my grandfather’s generation, I think of waxed canvas and ruby-colored Woolrich plaid. Since deer are colorblind, plaid will break up your outline as effectively as camouflage. But not too long after WWII, synthetics came along and changed the game. The result was cheaper and lighter, but it wasn’t always warmer.

The Baby Boomer

Image: www.deeranddeerhunting.com

[Image: www.deeranddeerhunting.com]

What exactly does dad wear when he hunts? It’s hard to say. It pretty much depends on whatever size XXL camo was on sale that week at Cabela’s. If he’s hip and takes after his son or daughter, maybe he’ll forego the baggy look in favor of some Under Armour. If he’s fancy and hip, he may lean toward Sitka’s style. If your dad’s a real badass, then he’s rocking Herman Survivors. If he wanted to look good and waste $250, then he’s lacing up a pair of boots from Danner.

Millennials

What are the kids wearing these days? [mage: jezebel.com]

What are the kids wearing these days? [Image: jezebel.com]

I once went rabbit hunting in skinny jeans. On the one hand, I was able to thread myself through the briars like a needle, but on the other hand, I had to stop and dig thorns out of my legs every five minutes. It wasn’t really worth repeating. So what does today’s generation wear on the hunt? Because nice hunting clothes are expensive and my generation is broke, I’ve seen an uptick in second hand and Salvation Army camo. In general, hunting clothing is getting smarter and lighter.